Freezer Math

I just got off the phone with one of my favorite people in the whole world, Amy Hammond, who just landed an awesome job as Exhibition Manager at the Susquehanna Art Museum in Harrisburg, Pa. The conversation we had was much too hilarious and inappropriate for work (eek!) but it was almost like we couldn't contain ourselves from giggling and laughing quietly. maybe that's why personal conversations are supposed to be kept to a minimum! Because its just too darn funny to hear that Amy got flagged down because her car (Godiva) had lost its muffler on the way to work. if you knew this car, you would know how hysterical that is.

Amy and i have known each other since 1999, and lived with each other from 2000-2006, but it feels like we've known each other for twice that amount of time. We like to joke that we're common law partners not just because of how long we bunked together, but because we know each other so well. I've experienced a lot with Amy, both dignified and not so much, but one of the funniest stories has to be the time we interviewed for jobs at Trader Joes.

We had just moved to Bethesda, Maryland and were looking for jobs, it was my first year of grad school and Amy's second. We began the day totally full of hope, bright eyed and bushy tailed, certain that among all the places we applied, one of them was bound to work out. We dressed up cute and acted polite, said yes, thank you, etc. and the day turned into one big disappointment - it was just not going well. Our last stop of the day was at TJ's - located on a strip that we had been up and down (think a Maryland version of Aurora) (if you're not from Seattle, think depressing, concrete, never ending chain malls)all day. Anyway, we walk into TJ's no longer cute and fresh, and ask one of the baggers where we go to fill out an application. He signals this guy from across the way that comes over and introduces himself as the FIRST MATE. yep - there's a theme here. So the First mate then proceeds to put us through a series of interview questions in front of the store (customers, other workers, etc.) and we're answering them, as best we can, kind of taken aback at the fortitude needed to be a bagging girl at trader joes. well then the first mate RINGS THE BELL, and has a bagger come over. He then hands us our MATH TESTS to do (we're art majors so this introduced a not so subtle squeeze of anxiety on our hearts) and then, since theres no place really to take the tests, has the bag boy lead us to the FREEZER to take the test. Once in the freezer, we get comfortable on some overturned crates and proceed to refresh our memory of long division. At this point we cant believe this is happening, but it becomes real enough when one of the workers comes back there TO SPEND HIS BREAK - IN THE FREEZER.

That was the fastest math test I've ever taken.

We finish up and take them to the first mate, who proceeds to correct them right there, then RINGS THE BELL AGAIN to announce to us and the store what our scores were. At this point, it was one of the silliest and most random things i had ever not expected going into an interview. Needless to say, neither one of us ever had (or plans to have) illustrious jobs at Trader Joe's, despite their awesome selection of Albanian string cheese and cheap wine.

Amy and i can put ourselves in fits retelling this story to each other, and that's one of the millions of reasons i love her so much!